MTV To Screen Belfast’s ‘Troubles Festival’

No doubt there'll be a tasteful CD, too

MTV will be commemorating the needless slaughter of thousands with a huge rock concert in Belfast later this year, a spokesman for the music channel confirmed today. The gig is to be the centrepiece of the Ulster capital’s eagerly-anticipated Troubles Festival, which is being organised by city authorities to celebrate the unnecessary deaths of over 3000 innocent victims of Ireland’s once world-beating hatebuilding industry.

“Thanks to heart-warming blockbuster movies like Michael Collins and In The Name Of The Father, all the world knows the moving tale of a city divided by barriers of religion and bricks but finally united in death,” said the excited MTV spokesman. “We hope the whole world will not just watch, but join the forward-looking people of Belfast in dancing on these historic graves.”

Other events planned to boost Belfast’s global image include a play commissioned to celebrate the dedication and hard work of the people of the city where the Troubles were built, and an iPad app which will showcase rare footage of doomed bystanders being poignantly maimed by a bomb in a litter bin.