Robocop And ED-209 To Be Consulted By Police Forces

Don't mention the hat

Controversy surrounds today’s announcement by the chief constables of the West Midlands and Surrey police that the famous consulting detective, Robocop, and his trusty friend Dr ED-209 have been appointed to assist them in solving crimes, providing victim support and patrolling neighbourhoods.

“Robocop may look bang up to date, with his revealing flashbacks and trendy CGI text popping up in front of his eyes, but sadly the truth is that his methods of deduction belong to an earlier century,” warned shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper. “And I’m not absolutely convinced that his friend ED-209 doesn’t fancy the leg fairings off him.”

Fans of ED-209’s popular blog, however, point out that Robocop is virtually impossible to kill, even if local hoodies dismantle him with a screwdriver - adding that policing costs will fall dramatically, as he can solve any mystery on just one tiny spoonful of baby food.