Armchair Anarchists Strangely Reluctant To Challenge Cameron On Somalia

Welcome to the anarchist paradise

As David Cameron threatens to destabilise Somalia - the world’s foremost anarchist state – with an invasion of evil capitalist money, thousands of freethinking Somali pirates and starving villagers have been left mystified and demoralised by the total absence of messages of support in the social media from their crusty allies in the developed world.

“First-world anarchists have been sitting on their backsides for well over a century, telling their friends how all of the world’s problems could be solved at a stroke by the abolition of all bureaucratic structures,” pointed out Looshan Yusuf, a member of a non-hierarchic pirate collective operating out of the free commune of Hafun, as he selflessly redistributed a consignment of grain liberated from the oppressive ownership of Western aid agencies among his gun-toting friends. “Well, only here in Somalia will you find an entire nation functioning in a state of perfect anarchy.”

“I am thinking your idle Western anarchists should eat their dogs on strings and sail over here immediately to demonstrate the strength of their solidarity,” agreed his friend Timiro Asad eagerly, as he oiled the recycled RPG-7 rocket launcher which the collective has deemed appropriate to his needs. “Then we could ransom them in exchange for heavier firepower and plenty of ammunition, which we desperately need to keep our heroic social experiment going.”

“Peace,” he added.