Syrian Conflict Finally Becomes International Tragedy After Death Of Times Journalist

The world’s media united today to demand the immediate launch of an overwhelming combined air, land and sea assault on Syria by teatime, following the tragic deaths of Western journalists Marie Colvin and Remi Ochlik from shellfire in the besieged city of Homs.

This'll teach them not to blow up innocent civilians

“The trivial slaughter of tens of thousands of unimportant Syrian civilians pales into insignificance against this appalling random crime against humanity,” thundered every journalist in the entire world.

“People with brown skin are used to this sort of thing,” explained an NUJ spokesman. “But Marie and Remi were civilised people who owned iPads and appreciated a really good Chablis. It’s an outrage against common decency that two brave white folk who chose to risk their lives to bring great stories of pathetic blood-soaked corpses lying in makeshift morgues to our inside pages are now themselves pathetic blood-soaked corpses lying in a makeshift morgue.”

“Let’s bomb the living shit out of Damascus until not one single brick is left on top of another,” he urged Western governments. “It’s the only language these animals understand.”