|You silly cow|
“You stupid, stupid bastards,” he added.
Mr Cameron’s advice for a speedy return to happy days is for you to stop buying stuff.
“The banks simply had no alternative but to keep extending your credit limit again and again because of your reckless irresponsibility. Now look what you’ve done,” he scowled. “Fancy buying things that weren’t absolutely essential to your continued existence, just because you wanted them. Like iPhones. And digital televisions. And furniture. And clothes. What the hell were you thinking? Idiots.”
The prime minister warned that if you didn’t settle your massive debts by the end of the month, he would be forced to send the bailiffs round to every household in the country to seize everything in your home and give it all to the poor, suffering banks. And serve you right.