|Rupert Murdoch announces his pay rise|
“I like a challenge,” explained Mr Murdoch, “So I reckon I’ll have a crack at playing the talentless, dim head of a dysfunctional family. My fragrant kung fu lady Wendy will, of course play Marge. James is the obvious choice for that lovable rascal Bart. My highly-principled old pal Rebekah Brooks can bring all of her depth and gravitas to the part of Lisa, and young Liz can be Maggie. Crikey, I reckon this voice-acting lark is a piece of dingo’s piss.”
What you will hear:
Marge: Hi, Homey, you back ealry! What happen?
Homer: Blimey, Wend, I came a bit of a gutser, and now the bloody plant’s melting down!
Marge: They sack you for being sirry breeder? Where divorce rawyer?
Homer: No worries, cook, there’s no need to get your clacker in a tangle! She’ll be apples. I awarded myself a performance bonus. Them dags’ll never suspect it was my fault!
Bart: Strategic multi-stranded path to explore, paternalistic role-play example!
Lisa: Oh, the shame! The shame!
Homer: Strewth, Lisa, me little ankle biter, here’s some pocket money. Will 3½ million do?
Lisa: I’m over it. (wanders off to spend more time with saxophone)
Marge: Risten! Who knock on door?
Mr Burns and several hundred angry shareholders: Simpton, you no-hoper! I’m mad as a snake!
Nelson: Ha, ha!