Cyber Magistrate Nearing Completion

For the first time ever, law meets logic

Britain’s newly-arrested cyber criminal, thought to be linked to Anonymous - the loose grouping of spotty geeks responsible for hacking some of the world’s most powerful corporate entities, and Gene Simmons out of Kiss – will soon appear in front of the dreaded Cyber Magistrate, police confirmed today as they put the finishing touches to the future of law enforcement.

“We’ve assembled the armoured body and wired up all the blue lights,” confirmed a cyberspokesman for Scotland Yard. “We’ve even made a special glass forehead, in case we find a magistrate with a living brain to donate, but that’s not essential.”

“The Cyber Magistrate will uphold the law, and then some,” he explained. “We’re hoping for a custodial sentence of at least ten years. No doubt some people will say this is outrageous, petty and childish, but don’t worry - it’s only a cyber sentence affecting a cyber criminal, so it’s not really a punishment at all, is it?”