Thursday, 9 June 2011

The Dawkins Delusion

Bookshops report that they are fast selling out of God’s new book, The Dawkins Delusion, in which the omnipresent creator systematically demolishes the antiquated myth of liberal meritocracy to which millions of woolly thinkers still slavishly adhere.

The feeding of the £18,000
“Dawkins and his apostles have been cynically peddling their outdated belief system for too long,” snarled an angry but just God. “While they publicly proclaim their absolute faith in the miracle of natural selection on the basis of inherent ability, in reality they have constructed a self-serving temple of Mammon whose shabby purpose is simply to keep them in riches at the £18,000-a-year expense of their tragically deluded followers.”

“Verily I say unto you, it is easier for a talented but poor student to pass through the eye of a needle than to enter the New Kingdom of the Humanities,” he thundered.

God later smote Dawkins’ high priest, AC Grayling, with a smoke grenade as he preached to the chattering classes at Foyles Bookshop – an act which Archprofessor Dawkins dismissed as a simple conjuring trick, while his acolyte Niall Ferguson vehemently argued on Channel 4 that the incident never really happened at all.

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