Friday, 11 February 2011

Public Don’t Deserve The Right To Vote, Say Prison Inmates

Prisoners today expressed anger and outrage at the thought that the general public should be allowed to vote in elections, after hearing that the people of Britain not only showed no remorse for illegally denying prisoners their human rights, but arrogantly boasted that they intend to keep reoffending in future.

“I only done over a post office - well, awright, six,” complained ‘Fingers’ McGee, who is serving twelve years in HMP High Down for armed robbery, “But I never ‘urt no-one, right? These buggers, though, they just ain’t like decent crims. This bunch don’t fink nuffink of denyin’ basic ‘uman rights to anyone they don’t like the look of. They bin gittin’ away wiv it for years, an’ now they bin cort bang to rights it’s like they fink the law don’t apply to them, like they’re above it or summink. They’ll just carry on breakin’ international law an’ larffin’ about it, unless somebody stops their lark good an’ proper.”

Scum like this don't deserve votes, say disgusted prisoners
“First they start bangin’ on abaht crims an’ getting’ away wiv it,” he warned. “Pretty soon they’ll start takin’ ‘uman rights off of uvvers wot can’t defend theirselfs, like the doleys and the disabled, and pretty soon it’ll be anyone else they dun’t partic’ly take a shine to. Where’s it gunna end, eh? Answer me that.”

Stepping out of the shower block naked and proud, legendary criminal Big Ron expressed total agreement. “I just done a bit of GBH ‘ere an’ there – well OK, an’ the odd murder - an’ I’m genuinely sorry an’ all, even if them fackers wuz arskin’ for it. This crahd, this general public mob, see, ’ahss a different matter. They dahn’ give a monkeys abaht fair play, decency or ‘uman dignity. No ifs, no buts - they robs yer of yer right to vote for the poncy twat of yer choice – an’ they dun’ even see naffink wrong wiv it!”

“They awter be locked up in ‘eah wiv me, I tell yer,” he suggested. “They’d soon be squealin’ faw their bladdy rights.”

“Speshly the ones wot fink ver ‘ard,” he smiled grimly, casually flicking a wet towel. “I lavs a challenge.”

Meanwhile, shocked liberal European democracies are wondering what to do about a rogue element in their midst which defiantly continues to crow about its illegal activities.

“It seems pretty obvious that a fine isn’t an effective deterrent,” said a worried Denmark. “With habitual offenders like the British, the only punishment that’s got any chance of making them stop and think about what they’re doing is a custodial sentence. They should be locked away for a very long time, so decent countries can go about their lawful business without facing constant abuse, threats and violence from an ignorant, brutal gang of yobboes who clearly have no intention of respecting the rules and customs of civilised society.”

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