Lord Young Has Had It For Good

Lord Young has had it for good, after resigning in shame from his post as David Cameron’s business advisor for telling the public - in the midst of the worst recession since 1945 – they had “never had it so good.”

Lord Young’s comment, made in the middle of a highly agreeable lunch with a nodding Daily Telegraph reporter, echoed the autocratic and ill-advised words of an earlier Tory prime minister, Harold Macmillan, who also got a lot of stick for talking out of his arse.

David Cameron distances himself from Lord Young

According to the former trade and industry secretary in Margaret Thatcher’s cabinet, the British people are wallowing blissfully in huge piles of cash - thanks to the low interest rate which, in the cherished la-la land which exists inside his head, the mortgage lenders and credit card companies have assiduously passed on to their debt-ridden customers.

He cheerfully added that, once the recession was over, people would look back and “wonder what all the fuss was about” possibly in the same way that nobody nowadays has a very clear idea of what the First World War was all about.

As the inevitable storm erupted and the embarrassing enterprise tsar tendered his resignation, PM David Cameron took great pains to point out that Lord Young was just an offensive, inaccurate idiot who “isn’t a member of the government, he doesn’t speak for the government and I think he’ll be doing a bit less speaking in future” - deftly skirting around a somewhat inconvenient issue, namely that he was handpicked personally by Mr Cameron for his supposed expertise.

A spokesman - standing in while Lord Young waits for doctors to dissolve the superglue binding his lips together – suggested that the disgraced peer had merely misplaced a comma.

“”David Young was merely trying to sum up the core of Conservative philosophy,” he offered. “What he meant to say on the subject of wealth is simply that most of the British people have never had it, so good.”