Sunday, 21 November 2010

BNP Appalled By Prospect Of Giant Polish Christ

BNP leader Nick Angriff today issued a stern warning to the people of Britain about the nightmarish possibility that the 33m statue of Jesus unveiled today in Swiebodzin, Poland could soon acquire a similarly oversized bicycle and turn up in the UK looking for work.

MC 900ft Jesus
“This is the biggest Christ in the world, and He’s Polish,” shuddered Mr Angriff. “Our traditional British Christs are typically modest affairs, and wouldn’t be able to compete with a giant Polish Saviour. Only Rio de Janeiro has a Christ in this class, and He wouldn’t dare come here because He knows very well that the police here would shoot Him on sight.”

“Before you know it, there’ll be queues of decent, hardworking British Christs filling every Jobcentre in the land,” he seethed.

Mr Angriff urged patriotic British subjects to build and burn giant wicker men at every ferryport, in the hope that these will discourage the Polish Son of God for long enough to complete negotiations with the Japanese for the loan of Godzilla - who would stand astride the Channel Islands and roar his primal challenge across Europe to the Polish Jesus for a fight to the death.

“Even if Godzilla is defeated, his epic battle would buy enough time for our loyal American allies to ship the Statue of Liberty over on an aircraft carrier,” opined Mr Angriff. “Then, while this immigrant Jesus is busy healing Himself, she can ram her torch where the Son doesn’t shine.”

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