Nothing Going On In Rest Of World, Says Media

The world today

Chinese-supported North Korea’s sudden attack on its US-backed neighbour yesterday and the implied threat of World War Three notwithstanding, Britain’s media confirmed this evening that nothing at all of note had happened today in the minor part of the world that lies beyond the English Channel.

“The single most important thing in the world right now is this kettle,” whispered a tense journalist. “If it boils over, everything you take for granted will change for ever.”