Saturday 26 June 2010

Cameron Seeks To Pull Troops Out Of Hat Before General Election

Prime minister David Cameron is meeting President Obama today, to politely ask if he could have his army back just in time for a general election.

The Conservative leader said he wanted to pull British troops out of a hat by 2015 at the latest, but added that he preferred not to “deal in too strict timetables”.

“Naturally the PM will be looking to pull our long-suffering boys and girls out of the coalition when the time is right for a ten per cent boost in the opinion polls,” commented Richard Holmes, a veteran armchair general of two War Walks. “However, it all rather depends on if and when the Lib Dems decide to pull their long-suffering boys and girls out of their coalition.”

Seasoned observers point to the ever-rising toll of Liberal Democrat casualties – 2 to date – and increasing scepticism among the general public about the point of the coalition.

“Whenever hostilities break out, the casualties are always worst in the ranks of the Lib Dems,” said Mr Holmes. “Nobody doubts the professionalism of this small but important body of MPs - but how much longer can they sustain such a high level of collateral damage to their credibility?”

“It’s already hit recruiting,” he added.


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2 comments:

Socrates said...

I'm not surprised you hide this behind a "Not For Grannies" page and include multiple disclaimers to conceal the True Nature of your Wicked Trade.

In these times of National Humbuggery, this kind of thing will get you shot.

I would imagine That's Life! was cancelled lest you get a slot between the geezer with a wonky eye and Pam Ayres.

There are Dark Times ahead, but I will at least sleep soundly in the knowledge that they'll come for you, long before me.

"People simply disappeared, always during the night. Your name was removed from the registers, every record of everything you had ever done was wiped out, your one-time existence was denied and then forgotten. You were abolished, annihilated: vaporized was the usual word"

Nev said...

Apart from pointing out that grannies are now welcome, I couldn't agree more. It's only myself I'm letting down.