“I strongly urged my fellow whales that there is really no shortage nowadays of shipping to be rammed and sunk,” sang Mr Moby Dick, the white whale. “Unfortunately, the other whales just want to keep the existing moratorium in place.”
Whaling ships almost became extinct in the years following World War II, leading the International Whale Commission to declare a ban on hunting them. However, Mr Dick pointed out that Norwegian and Japanese whaler numbers have steadily increased over the years, and even Icelandic whalers – once thought to have become extinct – have recently been sighted disporting themselves merrily in northern latitudes.
“We understand Mr Dick’s frustration,” sang a right whale. “But the metal hulls of today’s whaling ships are considerably harder to stave in than the old wooden sailing vessels of old.”
Mr Dick is said to be exceptionally hard-headed, however, and sources sing that he has been in secret talks with the narwhals - and may even have broken the rules by giving aid to the whales’ former enemies, the giant squid, on condition that they support his efforts.
“It would be a real shame if whaling ships were once more hunted to the brink of extinction by these barbaric methods,” commented a Greenpeace spokesman. “For years, our members have looked forward to getting right up close to beautiful, huge whalers in their little dinghies and engaging in playful fun and games with them. But this harmless activity could one day be a thing of the past.”
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