Britain faces an unprecedented constitutional crisis today, with all 630 MPs resigning their seats after finding out that The Nev Filter has been saying some things about them that were not really very nice at all.
The shock walkout from the House of Commons comes only hours after eleven members of the 15-strong Somerton Town Council quit in protest at being called "jackasses" and "clown councillors" by Somerset blogger Niall Connolly.
"This nasty Nev person seems to take a warped, perverse delight in portraying me as a sad, isolated authoritarian with no friends, no ideas and no hope," sobbed ex-PM Gordon Brown as he trudged out of London with a few possessions tied up in a knotted handkerchief. "Well, I'm going back to Scotland, where I shall be taking a boat and rowing to an uninhabited island in the middle of nowhere to live out my remaining days in complete isolation from the human race. I just hope he's proud of himself."
"I don't know how people like him can sleep at night," he added forlornly.
David Cameron, the former leader of the Conservative Party, echoed his one-time opponent's sentiments.
"All I have ever sought is to humbly serve the people of this nation," he wailed, as his chauffeur attempted to loop a length of rope around a lamp-post on Westminster Bridge. "I appreciate that there has always been a cruel streak in the British people, who seem to revel in building people up to knock them down - but The Nev Filter's repeated suggestions that I am some kind of sheltered, cynical opportunist next to whom Margaret Thatcher would look like Mother Theresa is more than I can bear. As soon as my man here has tied the noose, it's goodbye cruel Nev."
The former leaders' dismay was echoed throughout the parliamentary parties, with upset ex-MPs booking one-way tickets to remote destinations well off the beaten track, entering monasteries or simply leaping from suspension bridges with breeze-blocks chained to their ankles.
The unexpected power vacuum was fortuitously filled by the Youth Parliament, who happened to be holding an important debate about the latest version of Grand Theft Auto in the House of Commons' Debating Chamber. They were swiftly sworn in as the acting government of the United Kingdom by outgoing speaker John Bercow, who then stepped down and shot himself.
Asked it he was pleased with the unexpected effect of his constant online sniping, Nev told reporters that he was very sorry that the affairs of state were now in the hands of a bunch of 11-18-year-olds.
"Frankly, I'd trust a bunch of under-10s more," he said. "But it's a step in the right direction."
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