MoD Guilty of 'Repairs', Alleges Father of Dead Hero

The Ministry of Defence has been criticised for repairing a helicopter, in a withering blast from the angry father of a soldier killed by a mine in Afghanistan - a man whose tragic loss has not only put him above all criticism, but has made him one of the world's foremost experts on helicopter maintenance.

Ian Sadler, of Exmouth, says he fainted in shock when he happened upon the shameful truth - in a letter written to him by the MoD - that a Chinook helicopter whose tail-mounted engine was damaged in a landing accident had its rear fuselage replaced in 2003 with parts from another machine captured in the Falklands War, and has been operating normally ever since.

"Everyone I have told about the helicopter being a 'cut and shut' has responded with disbelief, before walking off making circle signs around their temples with their fingers in a clear display of disgust at the lunacy of the MoD," said a purple-faced Mr Sadler. "It is penny pinching and an insult to the young men who are going to Afghanistan and risking, and losing, their lives. What they ought to have done, if they had a shred of responsibility, is to throw the damn thing away and buy another one, like you do when your car fails its MOT."

"How dare these bastards even think of repairing damaged aircraft?" he continued as he shook his fist at a small child building a sandcastle. "It's only a sheer bloody miracle that the tail hasn't fallen off this rattling deathtrap, spilling our brave lads out into thin air to be splattered all over the rocky terrain of the Afghan theatre of operations. Never mind that this is standard operating procedure in the military units of the world, or that the repair was carried out by highly-qualified RAF engineers, extensively air-tested and signed off by the manufacturers."

"When my wing mirror got snapped off, I had my last car towed down the scrapheap immediately and bought a new one," shouted Mr Sadler to an elderly couple on the Exmouth seafront. "Anything less would be an insult to my poor dead son."