Some charity or other has called for something to be done about people with autism.
"Adults with autism are largely ignored by society," droned a spokesman. "Blah, blah, blah."
"Local authorities in England admit that they have no idea how many people in their area have autism, what it is, or why it matters," he told an empty press briefing.
Tory leader David Cameron was due to turn up later at a conference somewhere and mouth some platitudes, on the off-chance that there might be some votes in it.
"Autism? Bollocks," said a spokesman for the Benefits Agency. "They've got two arms, two legs and a head, haven't they, so it's not a proper disability, is it? Frankly, mate, we're turning down new claims for ESA from people with one working arm now, so those workshy skivers have got no chance."
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