The world burst into floods of tears today at the news that British Airways, its former favourite airline, was reporting an annual loss of £401m.
The lovable, cuddly airline blamed its fall from profitability on the cost of fuel, the weak pound, the recession, Satan and moonspots.
"This dramatic reversal of fortunes is certainly nothing to do with our policy of shamelessly milking travellers with eye-watering fares turning round and biting us on the bum," said chief executive Willie Warmer, who also announced that he would be foregoing a month's pay in July. "I shall just have to hope that the remaining £673,750 of my salary will tide me over."
British Airways has traditionally relied on charging astounding prices for business travellers' jollies, safe in the knowledge that their company expense accounts would pay up without batting an eyelid. However, industry analysts pointed out that the airline had failed to notice that there were no longer any businesses left in Britain.
Meanwhile, the world promised BA a nice ice lolly if it would just shut up for five minutes.
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