A cleaner turned up to work at the palace of Westminster this morning, only to find the doors ajar and official papers blowing down silent corridors.
"I turn up ten to six as usual and the doors, they wide open," explained Mrs Abisola Iduoze. "I say 'Hello?' but nobody there. All the offices, they all empty. Everything a total mess. I ring my supervisor Mrs Sokolovic, I tell her I never get this place cleaned up by nine."
It was the same in Downing Street, where knotted bedsheets hung from an upstairs window at the back of the Prime Minister's residence. Of Gordon Brown and the entire government only a torn pair of trousers remained, flapping forlornly from the glass shards topping the rear wall.
Sadly, disappearing acts like this are a familiar story to consumer organisations up and down the country.
"Every so often, you'll get a leaflet through your door, asking you to donate your vote to some cause or other," said a trading standards officer. "They make all sorts of vague promises about helping the disadvantaged, providing jobs and giving children hope for the future. But it's just a tissue of cynical lies, intended solely for their own personal enrichment. They grab everything for themselves and, as soon as we start sniffing round, they do a runner. They're probably all laughing and drinking cocktails in Northern Cyprus right now."
With no MPs, lords or civil servants to run the country, Her Majesty the Queen stepped in to avert an unprecedented constitutional crisis, asking Mrs Iduoze to run the country until further notice.
The new PM acted swiftly to defuse civil unrest, urging the nation to stop fussing and have a nice cup of tea.
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