Pope Benedict XVI has visited Jerusalem's Yad Vashem memorial and insisted that the world must never forget the Holocaust, which he really didn't know about at the time as he was far too busy shooting down Allied aircraft which were trying to bring it to an end.
The pontiff went on to call the Nazis' systematic murder of six million Jews a "horrific tragedy which somehow completely escaped my attention."
"Sadly anti-Semitism continues to rear its ugly head in many parts of the world, including right under my nose," he continued. "This is totally unacceptable. Every effort must be made to combat anti-Semitism wherever it is found."
"Unless, of course, you happen to be a member of the Hitler Youth manning a flak battery in the last-ditch defence of your country, party and führer," he added, "In which case you've probably got far too much on your plate to poke your nose into matters which don't concern you."
His Holiness then rekindled the eternal flame at the Hall of Selective Remembrance, where the names of the 22 largest concentration camps are etched into the floor.
"No, funnily enough I don't recall any of those," said God's earthly representative. "Should I have heard of them?"
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