Tuesday 12 May 2009

'If You Don't Let Me Win I'm Taking My Shiny Red Cars Home', Threatens Italian Baby

A pair of shiny red Scalextric cars were found in lying in the street today by a small child, little Bernie Ecclestone. The expensive toys, handmade in Italy, are believed to have been thrown out of a matching red pram.

"I saw these nice toy cars in the gutter," said little Bernie, "And I thought what a shame it was to see them all covered in poo. So I picked them up in my hanky, put them under the garden tap and showed them to my big friend Blue Max. He's almost grown up, and he knows lots and lots of things he doesn't tell anyone."

Max dismissed the toys as a pair of decorative-but-useless Ferrari F60s, and thought they may have been thrown out of the pram during one of baby Luca di Montezemolo's frequent temper tantrums.

The cherubic purple-faced infant was unavailable for comment, as he is obstinately holding his breath until proposed rules changes are dropped from next year's Scalextric season - barring him from spending most of Italy's GDP in a futile attempt to develop a toy car that can win races without Michael Schumacher picking it up and putting it back on the track when it flies off at every corner.

"Scalextric is shiny red cars, and shiny red cars are Scalextric," yelled little Bernie excitedly - but his stern-faced friend disagreed, saying: "Scalextric can survive without shiny red cars."

Bright young Bernie then suggested that maybe the rules could be changed, allowing little Luca to spend as much as he likes - but ensuring a level playing field by allowing an adorable ginger kitten to swipe cars randomly off the circuit.

2 comments:

PilotGigs.com said...

See now Nev i find that funny!see the toy cars are like, the real f1 cars and like the baby is like the real man and stuff, thats like genious man! heeheeheehee
In all honestly it is really excellent!

Nev said...

Shh, Andy, you're giving away trade secrets.