The entire nation will be glued to its television sets for a week, eagerly hoping to get a glimpse of Ulrika Jonsson's withered teats and/or genital stretch-marks, as the much-missed Celebrity Sad Bugger returns to their screens.
Many viewers said that they are also keenly anticipating a hypocritical media frenzy of self-appointed political correctness when one of the washed-up nonentities inevitably tries to briefly raise their marketable value by calling Mini-Me a short-arsed twat.
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