Sunday 28 December 2008

Upbeat Brown Rouses Britain By Recalling Good Old Days Of Most Destructive Cataclysm Ever Inflicted Upon Mankind

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has outlined his vision for 2009, saying that the British people need to see the recession as a "test of character" and display the spirit of the Second World War.
"I am confident that we can steer Britain safely into the future by plunging headlong into the past," he told the nation on Sunday. "The next few years will see ruination visited upon our city centres, forced conscription for millions, the collapse of public services, vast numbers rendered homeless and many more of our troops lying dead and forgotten in far-flung corners of the world. But, I tell you, there is a ray of hope to sustain us through our dark ordeal. We have a great and powerful ally in the United States - which will not hesitate to come to our aid after it has brought us to the brink of national bankruptcy and then, when it's all over, present us with a truly colossal bill that will take half a century or more to repay."
When he was reminded that, in 1945, the country quickly and unceremoniously dumped its prime minister in favour of wholesale nationalisation, free healthcare for all, full grants for students and a raft of other socialist measures associated with a fairer society, Mr Brown raised two fingers in what may or may not have been a victory sign, and stamped out of the press briefing.

No comments: