Counsel for the Metropolitan Police has concluded its arguments at the Old Bailey, in the appeal by Barry George against his conviction for murdering Crimewatch presenter Jill Dando.
The final Crown witness was a local bar manager, who testified on oath that Mr George was well-known as “a nutter” in the Fulham area.
“I am an expert in the field of rostering staff and twirling bottles,” said Greg Dawson, “So I can categorically state that the defendant is a bit of a weirdo.”
Previous witnesses have already testified that Mr George was obsessed with Queen, and tried to chat up women by pretending to be the long-dead singer Freddie Mercury. He had also bought a pretend gun by mail order, and after Ms Dando’s death had grown an evil goatee beard like Satan’s and callously left a bunch of flowers at the murder site.
“Jill Dando was not just the best anagram on TV,” said Mr Laidlaw. “If you looked through the wrong end of a telescope and squinted a lot, at a pinch you could mistake her for Saint Diana. Only a raving lunatic – or possibly some London crime lord with a grudge against Crimewatch, but we won’t go into that – could possibly wish her harm. Mr George is clearly bonkers, and that makes him an ideal suspect, because nobody will believe a word he says - especially if those words are ‘It wasn’t me.’ Furthermore, anyone who thinks they can convince people they’re Freddie Mercury would certainly believe, beyond a scintilla of a doubt, that they could just as easily get away with blowing someone’s head off. Mr George is obviously a few aces short of a deck – therefore, QED and can I pick up my fee now, your honour?”
Mr George will take the stand today, and is expected to express a strong desire to break free.
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