US Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has failed to make the final of The Appresidentice, after being sacked by Sir Alan Sugar for being “too zany”.
The colourful, but clearly deranged Hillary told the media said she had not had an easy time on the programme. “My accent on claiming to run everything during Bill’s presidency, and what I swore about being shot at by snipers in the Balkans, weren’t liked,” she claimed, adding: “On occasions, it was verging on bullying. I do not advocate bullying or bitchiness, and if that uppity, empty-headed nobody - whose name I won’t even mention - doesn’t offer me the vice-presidential ticket immediately, then I certainly wouldn’t hope he gets his ass well and truly whipped by John McCain in the final.”
Asked whether she had any regrets about her campaign, Ms Clinton said: “I’ve learned not to be so naïve, not to talk about colour if you want to blend in.”
Rumours that Ms Clinton would be a surprise contestant at the launch tonight of Big Brother 9 were denied by Channel 4. “Of course, we always populate the Big Brother house with an army of shameless, mad-eyed lunatics who are totally in love with themselves,” said a spokesman, “But in our experience contestants do need to have at least one tiny redeeming feature in their deeply-flawed characters. Otherwise people tend not to vote for them.”
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