Monday 19 May 2008

Tommy Atkins' Schooldays

Ministers are likely to back a recommendation to introduce cadet forces into Britain’s schools, published in a review by Tory defector Quentin Davies MP.

“If we introduce military training in our schools, think of the disciplinary advantages,” said Mr Davies. “Children bringing knives into the school will find themselves peeling spuds in the kitchen, while truants will be sentenced to Field Punishment Number One and lashed to a gun carriage. In extreme cases of bullying, martial law can be declared and the teachers will then have a licence to shoot anyone flicking wet balls of paper in class. Happy days.”

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