Royal Drubbing for Labour?

Voters are going to the polls in Crewe and Nantwich today, where many pundits are predicting the first Tory by-election victory over Labour in three decades.

Labour’s campaigning in the election, triggered by the death of veteran Labour MP Gwyneth Dunwoody, has been marked by accusations of class bias, as they sought to smear the Conservative candidate - barrister Edward Timpson, whose family founded the shoe-repair chain - as a ‘Tory toff’.

“How dare this jumped-up cobbler’s boy have the effrontery to deny me my birthright?” exclaimed Princess Tamsin Dunwoody, the Labour candidate. “By the grace of God, I vouchsafe that I am the rightful heir to my mother’s fiefdom. Off with his head! Vote Labour, O sturdy yeomen of Crewe and Nantwich.”