Evil, greed-obsessed financiers can laugh even more heartlessly in the face of millions of victims of rising food prices - thanks to the Wall Street Burger Shoppe, which is charging $175 for what it claims is the world’s most expensive burger.
The obscene monstrosity features a brioche bun stuffed with black truffles, Kobe beef, seared foie gras, mature Gruyere cheese and wild mushrooms, and is topped off with flakes of pure gold leaf.
“People are only starving to death in the third world because they’re lazy, worthless scum who just couldn’t be bothered to go to Harvard and get an MBA,” scoffed C. Ableton Seligman, a typical depraved ultra-capitalist diner. “Hey you - yes you, you underachieving, worthless minimum-wage drone. I’m worth $738m! The blood in my pen is worth more than you. Where do you live? I just bought it, demolished it and built a toxic waste factory on it. Now get out of my sight and bring me another of these burgers. With grated baby topping.”
Rumours that hard-pressed, underpaid kitchen staff may frequently add an extra special ingredient of their own for their vilest customers were denied by the management. However, a spokesman said that, as their clientele clearly enjoyed the personal favour of Satan himself, there was probably nothing their bloated digestive systems – and shrivelled consciences - couldn’t handle.
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