Burmese Junta Accepts Foreign Aid, Now It's Too Late

Following talks with Burma’s military dictators, UN Secretary Ban Ki-moon has announced that the generals have finally agreed to allow all foreign aid workers into the country, almost three weeks after the Cyclone Nargis disaster.

Calling the decision a “breakthrough”, Mr Ban said: “After ignoring my letters and phone calls, the Burmese generals finally agreed to speak to me through their letterbox. They tell me that they are now happy to welcome international relief workers, as there are at least 78,000 dead bodies in the Irrawaddy delta making the place look very untidy, and on top of that they’re starting to smell. So any foreigners willing to wade up to their necks in a breeding-ground for dysentery and cholera and haul swathes of bloated, flyblown corpses out of the flood waters will be warmly welcomed, as it will save their loyal troops from spoiling their lovely uniforms.”