Londoners are still reeling about in shock today, following the earth-shattering revelation that Ken Livingstone has five children from three different partners.
Observers say that the bombshell spells certain political death for the mayor’s re-election chances. His close advisors are said to be urging him to either retire to a monastery on some small remote island and live a humble life of sorrowful penitence, or do the decent thing and throw himself off a tall building.
“Ken has broken all of the rules of a decent society,” said a visibly-shaken man in the street. “He has shown himself to be a feckless breeder, like the feral scum from the sink estates. OK, so Boris will go for anything posh in a skirt - but at least he has the decency to look a bit sheepish about it when it all comes out in the papers.”
On the other hand, one feral scum from a sink estate with whom we managed to establish a rudimentary form of communication said: “Nice one mate! I didn’t fink the little twerp ‘ad it in ‘im - let alone in anyone else. ‘E’s King Ken of the Chav People, that’s wot ‘e is! ‘E’s got my vote, or ‘e would ‘ave if I’d bovvered to register - ‘course, I’m tryin’ to dodge the council tax, innit? I bet ‘e’s rakin’ it in on the child benefit. Standard.”
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