A team of Newcastle University researchers have created the UK’s first human-animal hybrids, by implanting DNA from human skin cells into genetically-stripped cow eggs.
Just as the evil scientists were celebrating their unholy triumph by drinking a toast in blood, however, the mutant abominations crashed out of the laboratory, rending their presumptuous creators limb from limb. They then lurched through the streets of Newcastle, creating mayhem among the terrified peasantry. One of the hideous cells paused to play with an innocent child, but was driven off by a hail of stones hurled by plucky Catholic priests.
At bay, the ungodly egg monstrosities screamed defiance, claiming that they had not asked to be made, and only sought to live out their wretched lives in some remote fastness, well away from mankind. Their pleas fell on deaf ears, however, and they were last seen climbing aboard a northbound inter-city train in search of Scotland’s Cardinal O’Brien, seeking sanctuary.
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