Sunday 30 March 2008

Light-Bulb Turnoff Saves Planet - Evil Manufacturers Kicked to Death In Streets

Good news for the environment, as the planet was saved from total disaster by ‘Earth Hour’. Beginning in Sydney, people all over the world, who have been successfully convinced that the global energy crisis is all about them, self-righteously turned off a few lights around the house for an hour, then entertained themselves by glaring out of their windows at profligate neighbours who failed to join in.

Around the world, cities with an eye for cheap publicity joined in the stunt by turning off a few unnecessary illuminations at 8pm, then turning them all back on again at 9.

Meanwhile, vast juggernaut fleets of ships, aircraft and lorries continued on their unceasing journeys, hauling goods over unimaginable distances when they could just as well have been sourced locally; businesses continued to waste fortunes on lighting up empty buildings; factories churned out container-loads of slightly-redesigned consumer goods designed to replace perfectly-serviceable but suddenly-unfashionable models; and tourist legions flew home after their needless shopping and drinking weekends in foreign cities.

But nobody minded at all, because turning off a few light bulbs saved the world forever - or at least made people feel like they had, and that’s what matters.

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