Water industry regulator Ofwat is fining Severn Trent Water a record £35.8m - £34.7m for deliberately providing false information, plus a further £1.1m for poor customer service.
The fine, which represents 2.9% of the firm’s total turnover, will mean that its customers will see an impressive £2.40 reduction in their bills for two whole years.
“It wasn’t me that done it, mister, honest,” said Tony Wray, chief executive of parent company Severn Trent plc, “It was some big boys who were here before me. I saw them running away. They were a lot of fibbers. I’m not like that. I’m a good boy. Right lads, we’ve still got the other 97.1% - let’s have a party. Management meeting in St. Tropez, now! Last one to the Learjet’s a girly wuss.”
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