Thursday 10 April 2008

Numb and Number

The Food Standards Agency is said to be considering a ban on six E-numbers. The numbers, 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42, are said to be linked to child hyperactivity, mysterious airliner crashes and an underground hatch on a remote Pacific island.

A study by the University of Southampton has shown that the numbers are linked to psychological health.

“We did our research by watching DVDs of ‘Lost’ Seasons 1-3, and these numbers were found to be linked to at least two admissions to mental institutions,” said a square-eyed researcher. These highly-dangerous numbers should be banned immediately, because the fate of the world may depend on them. Don’t use the numbers!”

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