Sunday 6 April 2008

Olympic Fans Delighted By All-In Torch Wrestling Contest

The Olympics officially got under way in London yesterday, with Britain’s Konnie Huq emerging victorious from the first round of the all-in Torch Wrestling competition.

The eagerly-awaited big fight began outside Wembley stadium, with pro-Tibetan protesters making several attempts to break through the cordon of Chinese security staff and Metropolitan police. At one point, the Chinese ambassador found himself holding the torch, but he managed to get rid of it before being tackled on the issue of human rights abuses. Faced with a particularly large group of protesters along the Fleet Street leg of the route, the police even directed the Olympic torch onto a London bus, where they fined themselves for smoking on public transport. Finally, the torch made it to the steps of 10 Downing Street, where Gordon Brown greeted the torch without actually touching it.

“Hello, torch,” he said, “How the devil are you?”

With this moving speech the Torch-Wrestling contest was over. Former Blue Peter women’s endurance champion Konnie Huq was declared the winner, after managing to keep the torch from a protester who nearly broke through the ring of security.

“I always said my taking part in the procession doesn't mean I condone China in any way, even though that might be the way it looks to most people," she said, adding: “It's just unfortunate that China has such a terrible track record when it comes to human rights and they are the host nation."

The losers - as usual - were the people of Tibet.

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