Dummies Barred From Politics: Westminster Empty

Exhibit A, Your Honour

The arrest of an Aberdeen woman under the Representation Of The People Act, for the crime of entering her shop window dummy as a local election candidate, has left Britain in an unprecedented power vacuum after Scotland Yard raided the House of Commons.

The discovery, by Grampian Police, that a dummy cannot legally stand for election under UK law left the wind whistling through the deserted corridors of the Palace of Westminster, as the nation’s 650 MPs were unceremoniously flung into skips and carted off to Madame Tussauds to be melted down.

“There’s a bit of a debate going on about the exact legal status of the unelected dummies in the House of Lords, as many of them were placed there by the illegally-elected dummies,” admitted a spokesman for the Metropolitan Police. “As you might imagine, though, it’s indescribably tedious and nobody from our legal team has yet managed to stay awake.”