Britain Diagnosed With Hollywood-Induced Quixotism

Psychologists say Britain’s unhealthy obsession with blockbuster movies has tragically developed into full-blown quixotism, the mental illness in which the commonplace seems fantastic, after the entire population decided that a meteor burning up in the atmosphere could not possibly be anything but a crashing - and probably snake-infested - airliner, full of screaming victims desperately texting their heart-rending final words to their loved ones.

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“Millions of meteors fall into our atmosphere every day,” sighed Dr Maria Strangelove as she prepared the papers for Britain to be committed, “Whereas, in a typical year, about 150 commercial aircraft fall out of it. Now, which do you think you’re more likely to witness?”

With therapy, say experts, Britain may one day recover some sense of proportion – although they warn that this will take some time as, even once it accepts that what it saw was just a rock, the nation will then have to overcome the tragic delusion that only the heroic intervention of Bruce Willis narrowly saved the human race from total extinction.