|Scots just love to talk about their independence|
“OK then, Scotland, if it’s what you really want, of course you can vote to stand financially on your own two feet at long last,” declared Mr Cameron. “Only make up your minds soon, will you? Because the rest of us are sick and tired of hearing you droning on and on about nothing else since 1801, without ever once lifting a finger yourselves to actually make it happen.”
|Scotland the not quite so brave now, are we|
“Och, you smug wee Sassenach cunt,” commented white-faced Scottish PM Alex Salmond.
“Oh, and one more thing,” added Mr Cameron. “All your loyal patriots who haven’t set foot north of the border for thirty or forty years had better sort themselves out some passports and start applying for work permits. If they do any, that is. The rest of you might want to start hitching now - I gather lifts to Glasgow are pretty few and far between.”