James Cameron Snaps Up Costa Concordia Movie Rights

Tragically, the menu featured quite a lot of pasta

Leading Hollywood director James Cameron has already made a preliminary swim around the wreck of the ill-fated Costa Concordia cruise liner, trying to picture in his mind’s eye the most dramatic way to frame doomed passengers tumbling down the sides of the awful monument to man’s hubris, after buying up the exclusive film rights to the terrible maritime disaster.

The cinematic visionary has already filmed Kate Winslet standing like a living figurehead at the prow of the enormous vessel, and is currently tying weights to Leonardo diCaprio.

“I’d like to thank the passengers who have died or are still missing for inspiring me to make a stack of bucks out of their unimaginable suffering,” he told admiring reporters, as he ordered Mexico to build him a full-sized replica of the floating behemoth as it would have appeared in its heyday, i.e. Thursday evening.