Other Energy Suppliers Call For EDF To Be Sectioned

The five other major energy suppliers are desperately ringing doctors today, trying to get rival EDF carted off under Section 2 of the Mental Health Act after it announced a crazy plan to cut consumers’ gas bills by 5%.

British Gas responds to the EDF challenge

“What customers want more than anything else is fair, clear and transparent prices. We know they want action rather than words. That is why we are the first major supplier in history to announce a cut, my avian masters!” EDF Energy’s chief executive Vincent de Rivaz told the pelicans in St James’ Park, naked as the day he was born.

As white-coated British Gas psychiatrists chased him around the park with nets, the fleeing lunatic screamed: “I’m not mad! Thanks to November’s 15% price hike, we’re still 9.6% up on the deal!”