Unison Calls for Clarkson Sacking

Some backward tribes worship Clarkson as a god

The loudest sound in recorded history reverberated around the earth today as two million angry trade unionists and a sizable proportion of the British public simultaneously shouted: “1… 2… 3… Sack Jeremy Clarkson.”

Isolated tribes east of Java reported hearing the call quite clearly on their remote islands on the other side of the world, and claimed that only the immediate sacrifice of the opinionated petrolhead would appease the angry spirits of the air.