‘Kill Me Now’ Begs Hideously Fused Mutant Thing At The Heart Of Euro Negotiations

The thing that should not be

Merkozy, the latest repulsive creation of Britain’s inability to use the word ‘and’, took time out today from trying to save the eurozone to beg for a merciful release from its unimaginable suffering.

The awful conglomeration, consisting of hideously fused parts of Angela Merkel and Nicolas Sarkozy, is the most recent revolting mutant by-product of the British people’s rapidly-degenerating familiarity with their native language, and joins an appalling chamber of horrors which includes Brangelina, Jedward and the entire ConDem party.

“Ug,” grunted a horrified spokesman for the Oxford English Dictionary.