Monday, 5 December 2011

2m Cambodians Died Of Gratitude, Insists Brother Number Two

Nuon Chea, the right-hand man of Khmer Rouge leader Pol Pot, who is on trial for his part in the deaths of two million Cambodian victims of the regime’s disastrous social experiment, insisted that the Khmer Rouge were in fact jolly decent chaps and all-round good eggs whose sole flaw was an excess of kindness.

Thanks a lot
“I don't want the next generations to misunderstand the history. I don't want them to misunderstand that the Khmer Rouge are bad people, are criminals,” said the 85-year-old, defending himself against charges of war crimes, genocide and crimes against humanity. “There’s a very real danger that we might be misrepresented to future generations - like poor old Hitler, a clean-living fellow whose sole ambition in life was to give all the smelly Jews of Europe a free wash. How was he to know that their farts would be so toxic in a confined space?”

Cambodia’s ‘Brother Number Two’ suggested that the two million victims of his movement’s simple enthusiasm for country living had, in fact, expired due to an excess of sheer gratitude.

“Either that or a sudden, tragic outbreak of Vietnam,” he added helpfully.

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