Tonight’s Eurovision Contestants In Full

FINLAND

 JULIET BRAVO (real name: Axel Griis)
Blib Blib Blob






  

BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA

DINO MARTIN (deceased)
We Still Use Cassettes





DENMARK

AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
Please Give Us 12 Points






LITHUANIA

BRANGELINA SAŠENKO
C’est Ma Vie (©1984 Parle Parle)






  

HUNGARY

KATI BITCH
It’s All About Me








IRELAND

JEDWARD THE CONFESSOR
Dipstick




 

SWEDEN

ERIK SAD
Unpopular











ESTONIA

GETOUT JANNER
Union Street








GREECE

LUKE YORK feat. KYTV’s MIKE FLEX
Never Mind The Song, Watch My Dance









RUSSIA

VLADIMIR PUTIN
Smell You








FRANCE

 AMOUR VASELINE
Signu Sognu











ITALY

SILVIO BERLUSCONI
Madness Of Loving An Underage Prostitute








SWITZERLAND

ANNA TOSSAROONI
In Charts For A While (1 week - Switzerland only)











UNITED KINGDOM

 BLOB THE BUILDER
Can We Win It? No We Can’t











MOLDIVER

ZXCVBNM
No Lucky











GERMANY

LENA
99 Luftballons








ROMANIA

HOTEL 198KHz
Change To Long Wave For More Cricket








AUSTRIA

NADINE BELLOWER
The Secret Is [REDACTED]








AZERBAIJAN (property of Aliyev family)

 KINELL
Running Scared Of Going Home Unless We Win







SLOVENIA

MAJA KEUCKUP
No Points








ICELAND

NORMANNI NO-FRIENDS
Coming Home Empty-Handed






SPAIN

LUCÍA PARROT
Que Me Quiten Lo Pis (They Can Take The Piss Out Of Me)






UKRAINE

 MIKA EINSTEIN
 Charlie’s Angel











SERBIA

NINA
99 Luftballons (You’ve done this one already - Ed.)











GEORGIA

 ANDREW ELDRITCH (ret’d.)
You Could Be The One More Day