|Christ, imagine this every bloody morning|
“You have no idea how vexing it is to go into my office to confront the soppy sight of Nick Clegg huddled in a corner every single morning, hugging the waste paper basket and sobbing like a child,” admitted Mr Cameron. “Some days, I tell you, my hand is red raw from slapping his puffy, tear-streaked cheeks and telling him to man up, for god's sake, before somebody points a camera at him.”
“Eventually, of course, I hand him a tissue and he’s so pathetically grateful he’ll spend the rest of the day nodding ridiculously at every word I say,” added the PM. “But it gets to you, it really does. Still, I take comfort from the knowledge that Churchill had five long years of it with Clement Attlee.”
Nick Clegg, meanwhile, has announced that he has grave misgivings.