News Corp Reacts To BBC Web Cutbacks By Removing All News Content

No more of this, then... er... hang on...

In keeping with their side of the deal under which the BBC is to remove all entertainment content from its websites, James Murdoch announced tonight that, as of tomorrow, none of the newspapers published in Britain by News Corporation will contain any news.

“BBC sites such as h2g2, 606, Video Nation and Switch were nothing but a cynical attempt to put us out of business, by offering content that people might actually enjoy for nothing,” explained Mr Murdoch. “However, after Jeremy …Hunt’s brain was reprogrammed by my dad, we thrashed out an agreement not to encroach upon each other’s territory any more. I am therefore pleased to report that the Sun, the Times and the News of the World will in future be marketed purely for entertainment purposes, and will never again print anything of the slightest importance to anybody.”

“This mission realignment should not cause any major upheaval to our organisation,” he smiled, “And our readers probably won’t notice the difference.”

“Sky News will carry on unchanged, of course,” he continued, “It already offers primetime knockabout laughs aplenty from its stable of hilarious slapstick comedians, including Adam Boulton and Kay Burley.”

From now on, he added, News Corporation will simply be known as The Corporation.

The BBC later apologised.