Friday 28 January 2011

Greatest Mystery In World Solved: A Boat Was Involved!

Whoever would have guessed there was a simple explanation for it?
The seemingly-unanswerable question which has been plaguing the greatest minds on the internet for as long back as anybody can remember – i.e. yesterday - was finally solved today, when it was revealed that the piano was deliberately placed on the sandbar with the aid of a device known to a select few boating experts as a 'boat'.

“Well, bugger me,” said webist and genius Josh Geake when he heard the explanation. “I was convinced it washed up there on a freak tidal wave, except I wasn’t absolutely 100% sure than a non-watertight wooden box would float particularly well with ¼ tonne of cast iron inside it.”

“I suppose there probably aren’t that many unreported grand pianos floating freely around the oceans of the world after being washed overboard from cruise ships or musicians' private yachts, actually, now I come to think of it,” he added.

Other meticulously-researched theories bouncing around the interweb involved musical lizards from the ninth dimension, being flushed down an airliner’s toilet, an al-Qaeda cell of extreme noise terrorists and an outstanding example of parallel evolution in an isolated environment.

Teenager Nicholas Harrington admitted that he set fire to the grand piano, took it out to the Biscayne Bay, Florida sandbar in his father’s clever ‘boat’ device and set fire to it again in the certain hope that this inspired act of creativity would get him into a New York art school.

Since owning up to the deeply-moving work of art, he has already received unconditional offers from the Sorbonne and Plymouth College Of Art ‘n’ Design, and a written warning from state officials for dumping and incinerating trash in an designated aquatic reserve.

The piece has now been placed on public display for a limited time at the Miami-Dade Department of Environmental Resources Management’s exclusive South Dade Landfill Gallery, located in Miami’s fashionable SW 97th Avenue district.

The BBC later apologised.

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