Whilst dropping vague hints about how the coalition government might tackle Britain’s towering deficit mountain if it thinks it can get away with it, Mr Cameron seemed to be telling the nation that his plans for cuts in pay, pensions and benefits would be “unavoidably tough” and “affect our whole way of life.”
Fortunately, Deputy PM Nick Clegg was on hand to correct Mr Cameron, as he was taking time out from his really important mission to draw coloured lines in crayon on a dog-eared AA Map of the British Isles.
“I think what my best friend Dave is trying to say is that his cuts will affect your way of life,” he explained, to vigorous nods and thumbs-up from the prime minister.
Downing Street later issued a statement from the Prime Minister, confirming that he has had this speech defect since childhood, often leaving his parents tearing their hair out in frustration at their son’s apparent self-identification with the perfectly ghastly oiks who comprise the bulk of the population.
“It was only when I married into the upper class that they were finally reassured that I wasn’t some kind of filthy communist, selling the Socialist Worker to my chums in the Bullingdon Club,” he added. “Especially when I told them that my best friend was called Boris.”
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