Almost half of the British public believe that nothing is their fault and you can't pin it on them, according to a Sunday Telegraph poll taken on the eve of the Copenhagen conference on climate change.
While 58% said they believed climate change to be one of the most serious issues facing the world and 23% claiming it to be the most important, 48% of those surveyed said they did not believe it to be man-made. Instead they selected a range of culprits, including solar wonkiness, bovine farting competitions, lazy trees not doing their job properly and the actions of a jealous, vengeful God.
"Whatever is causing this impeding catastrophe, it certainly isn't my Merc ML550 4MATIC belching out four tonnes of carbon dioxide and nitrous oxide a year," said Telegraph reader Rob Blind. "Nor is it anything to do with the two tonnes of carbon generated by my annual holidays to Thailand and the Seychelles and quarterly citybreaks around Europe. And it definitely has no connection whatsoever to the 47 million tonnes of carbon spewed out by UK power stations so we can all keep our houses as hot as a sauna all year round."
"There's absolutely no connection to the fact that all of the luxury consumer goods I get bored with every two years are shipped halfway around the world because we don't make anything in Britain any more, either," he added. "So don't try to nail me on that, matey."
Mr Blind went on to explain that it was a bit like trying to blame his insistence on cheap, readily available food and clothing for poverty in the third world.
"Look, this coffee says 'Fairtrade' on the label," he pointed out angrily. "That means some bloody farmer in Ethiopia is probably earning more than I do. And if you can show me a decent tennis shoe made in this country, I'll buy it. As long as it's under £80 a pair, obviously. I'm not made of money."
"My conscience is clear," he added. "Or it would be, if I had one."
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