Hopes that the recession might be over were cruelly dashed today when the Bank of England declared that Monopoly money can now be used as legal tender, in the latest round of quantitative easing.
The bank's Monetary Policy Committee said that, as of today, Monopoly money can be used as real currency, as long as the tenderer has written on the back: 'I promise to pay the bearer the sum of whatever it says on the other side of this bit of paper, signed Mervyn King, Governor of the Bank of England'.
To prevent hyperinflation, the government has instructed retailers to put the price of the popular boardgame up to £20,000.
"However, as an introductory offer to stimulate the economy, until Monday the game will be available at the special price of £15,000," said Stephen Timms, financial secretary to the Treasury. "That's a saving of £140 on the amount of cash you're actually getting."
"And remember, you also get a load of houses and hotels thrown in for free," he added. "If that doesn't get the property market moving again, I don't know what will."
However, as personal insolvency reaches record levels across the UK, hard-pressed consumers said the move would only benefit those rich enough to afford their own marker pens.
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